HOLD IT!

Medical Appointments. All who think they are a dread say I! They should be called waiting appointments instead. During the past few months I’ve had my fair share of them, some better than others. Finding a new doctor in the Midlands area near my home in Columbia was exorbitantly harder than it would seem! More so, finding a specialist, such as a gynecologist? Might as well not even try. I’m not a pessimist, but after calling over ten OB/GYNs in the area, all I was able to get were appointments a month away. Hospital it was, if anything were to go drastically wrong in the time between. Since I wasn’t getting in an office anytime soon, I made an appointment for the most renowned OB/GYN office in Columbia. Go big or go home right?  Where do people go around here for a specialist?

When it came to family doctors, I called around and was able to get an appointment the next week with a doctor close by with a decent reputation (score!). I was told that I had to get a kidney ultrasound. The ultrasound is to see that your kidneys are working in tip-top-shape. After attending UF for four years and embracing the part-time alcoholism afforded to me during such ;), I was in betwixt and in between if anything may be a tidge off. I was told that one hour prior to the ultrasound, you have to “drink at LEAST 32 oz of water…and HOLD IT!” by the nurse that I spoke with over the phone. Yes Ma’am!

At the site, the lady doing the ultrasound on me was very…unsociable. Whether or not she was trained to be like that in order to come off professional is unknown to me, but having an ultrasound previously I know that I have indeed had friendlier. She pressed down on my kidneys,  so hard it hurt. Needed or not, it wasn’t pleasant. The bladder part of the ultrasound was just downright uncomfortable! As they press down on it you just about think you’ll pee yourself! (As I did not have a bladder infection at the time, I now wonder how bad it is for those who do..)

Now, you know what is most dreaded? The look I term as the “Sourpuss Face”. When the technician looks at something they’ve found to be unsatisfactory. In my case, and by law, the technicians aren’t allowed to tell you if they have found anything, good or bad. Hogwash I say! Would they rather I die of a stroke in anticipation? Now as I am Mrs. Super Sleuth, I was watching her notes as she typed from shot to shot on the wee little screen. Psh, and I need glasses!
If only I knew Morris code, as much of it looked as such. What was readily apparent was her consistent typing of “left ovary” or “LT OVARY.” This visit was for a kidney and bladder ultrasound. My anatomy may need some brushing up but lets face it, ovaries aren’t what she was intending to look at, or so I should only assume by the reason I was sent to get the ultrasound.

Ovary…left…left ovary…it kept repeating over and over in my mind, and on her damn keyboard! Does it really need to be repeated so many times in multiple shots? ..Am I missing a left ovary? Is that even anatomically possible, to be born with only one ovary?  Wouldn’t my OB/GYN have told me if something was wrong? I could have sworn I just had a pap smear with negative results…LIES! …or…is my ovary interfering with my bladder performance, stealin’ the spotlight are we? Is THAT even possible? Do ovaries correlate with bladder effectiveness and I just didn’t know it? I should get out the anatomy book when I get home…

All of this ran through my mind as the ultrasound went on. Not to worry I told myself, she simply could have just been noting what side the picture was taken on..using the ovaries as a baseline. Possible. Not probable. Until proven otherwise, I’m going with that, since to my knowledge my kidneys are lookin’ fiiiiiine.

The only need for looking at my kidneys via the ultrasound was a preliminary check before sending me off to a urologist, due to recurrent UTIs in the past years. New doctor, new inquiries, and having medical insurance I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see how the ‘ol kidneys are doing. (Writing this after getting feedback from the results, I know that this specific ultrasound may have eventually saved my life in the long run.) Any woman who has ever experienced a UTI will tell you that, quite possibly next to labor, it is the most pain a female may have to deal with in her life. As NOTHING, I mean prescription strength or non, can help alleviate the symptoms until you strangle a doctor for some antibiotics; nothing is just strong enough to get directly into the Urinary Tract and Bladder to stop the infection, or at least calm it down enough to still the symptoms. Some medications lessen it but let me tell you, not well enough by any means.

Waiting two days for the results, even if you are 99.99% sure that there is nothing wrong with your kidneys, is borderline excruciating. Never to fear however, I have ALL of the fluff to keep my mind off of the medical for now. =D

“Fear is a part of life. It’s a warning mechanism. That’s all. It tells you when there’s danger around. Its job is to help you survive. Not cripple you into being unable to do it.”

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